Sunday, May 29, 2011

Marilyn's Fake Orgasms

"Speaking of Oscars," she says, "I would win overwhelmingly if the Academy gave an Oscar for faking orgasms. I have done some of my best acting convincing my partners I was in the throes of ecstasy."

via Betty Dodson

A Small Gift

via 2HeadedSnake

No Sex In Utah


Acting Sexy Now Illegal in Utah


Despite being home to the sexist national park (Arches) and the sexiest salt water lake (Great Salt Lake), Utah doesn’t want you to think of it as a sexy state. And so, in an attempt to make it easier for police to arrest prostitutes, the state has gone ahead and outlawed acting sexy altogether.

Two Utah escort services have filed a lawsuit against a new state law that broadens the legal definition of solicitation to include exposing genitals and touching yourself sexually, arguing that police can now arrest just about anyone who is acting in a sexy manner — like strippers or escorts. As attorney Andrew McCullough points out, “most girls who touch their breasts are not telling you they’re open for sex.”

Now, obviously, there are ways to act sexy without “touching yourself sexually.” But this isn’t the Victorian era! Basically the only way to find a husband or wife these days is to show up at a bar and aggressively touch yourself, sexually. Does Utah really want to make that illegal?

via Red Beard

Very Good Roe

via Sushimaster

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Finger's Breadth - The Final Cover!

Ta-da! Here's the final version of my new novel from the great folks at Zumaya Books: Finger's Breadth.


Here's a bit about it:

The city is terrified: a mysterious figure is haunting the streets of near-future San Francisco, drugging and amputating the fingertips of queer men. But what's worse than this horror is how it transforms the men of the city. For what's more terrifying, a horror or that it can, so easily, turn any of us into something even more horrific?

Erotic. Terrifying. Fascinating. Disturbing. Intriguing. Haunting. You have never read a book like Finger's Breadth. You will never look your fingers, or the people all around you, the same way again.

Itchy!

100 Whores

I'm very happy! My book "100 Whores" on the shelves of St. Marks Bookshop in NY's East Village, one of the last remaining literary bookstores in NYC.

via photo by Melanie Neichin
http://www.MykolaDementiuk.com
http://www.100Whores.com

Erotic Museum


Hikokan Erotic Museum Exhibition in Japan

via Unfortunate Hole

Bizarre Sex


via Yikes

Rocky Mountain

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Fishmen Want Our Women


So, what is it about fishmen? Sirens in reverse, scaly brothers of Ulysses’ temptresses, half-human icthyian Casanovas rising up from hidden depths to claim the virtue of scantily clad bathing beauties.

The earliest example here is an issue of La Vie Parisienne (July 1916), the grandfather of all pin-up magazines. Published in France for over 100 years, the golden age of LVP was the mid teens through the early thirties when every issue featured gorgeous nudes by artists like Cheri Herouard and Georges Leonnec (who drew this one). Copies of the magazine found their way back to the USA in the trunks of returning doughboys and, by the 20s, American imitators were going strong, mixing stunning art with airbushed nude model shots. Most of the illustrations in LVP were beautiful but mundane, but every now and then the magazine featured a work of pure fantasy, like Flirt.


Next up is this awesome cover by H. L. Parkhurst for the February 1938 issue of Spicy Mystery Stories. This critter is more of a kappa than a fishman, but the idea is the same. One of the very few Spicy covers with a monster on it too.

Most molestation-minded fishmen owe something to H.P. Lovecraft and his story “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.” Lovecraft created a race called the Deep Ones, fishy minions of great Cthulhu who lusted after human women, producing the mongrel hybrids that HPL loved to write about:

"When it come to matin' with them toad-lookin' fishes, the Kanakys kind o' balked, but finally they larnt something as put a new face on the matter. Seems that human folks has got a kind a' relation to sech water-beasts - that everything alive come aout o' the water onct an' only needs a little change to go back agin. Them things told the Kanakys that ef they mixed bloods there'd be children as ud look human at fust, but later turn more'n more like the things, till finally they'd take to the water an' jine the main lot o' things daown har. An' this is the important part, young feller - them as turned into fish things an' went into the water wouldn't never die. Them things never died excep' they was kilt violent."
Lovecraft’s story was first published as a book (the only book he had published in his lifetime, in fact) and it was later reprinted in Weird Tales magazine. Another funny thing about Lovecraft’s career is that he became Weird Tales’ most famous writer but the editors never used his stories on the covers. This lovely painting was Lovecraft’s first Weird Tales cover and it was only used on the Canadian edition! No women on this one, but these are equal opportunity fishmen and it’s too pretty and rare not to include.

True Weird for November 1955 is an oddity, but what a cover by
Clarence Doore! Fate, a digest-sized mag, pioneered the strange-but-true magazine genre in 1948 (there were mystic and occult mags earlier, but Fate pretty much invented itself as a Fortean-themed publication), and I imagine True Weird was a standard-sized imitator that only last a few issues. The “true” story this amazing painting illustrates is a breathless account from Nicaragua of a spear-fishing senorita set upon by grabby fishmen:
"I had been skin diving for fish with a spear and was returning to shore when I noticed, coming towards me, what I thought were sharks. They were about the size of sharks and I was surprised to see them so close to shore,
Naturally, I made for shore as fast as I could with the monsters coming in my direction.

“When I reached shore, I noticed that one of the fish, which seemed more intent on reaching me than his companions, swam quite close. When about ten feet from me he reached out as if to grab me and I saw – instead of a fin, a huiman hand! I was terribly frightened! I jabbed him with my spear and he moved back. All three seemed to rise out of the water and for the first time I noticed their heads, which were about the size of human heads, looked like those of toads! As they rose half out of the water I could see they had chests like a man, and each fish had hands

like a human being!”

She stabs their “leader” again, and the froggy demons retreat into the sea. Everyone, of course, laughs at her…

Amorous aquatic molesters made it into the movies with The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and its sequels, as well as trashy beach monster movies like The Horror of Party Beach, but the mini-genre hit its peak in the Roger Corman-produced epic Humanoids from the Deep, a must-see film for anyone with a fish fetish, Humanoids, directed by Barbara Peeters, featured softcore scenes of busty beachgirls defiled by randy, slimy sea creatures, rendering explicit all that had merely been hinted at for decades.

God bless you, Roger Corman.

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work


Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.

Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.

Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.

via Barbara Guanabee

Who's Cute?


via Bloodthirsty Anarchist

Arise, You Hunk Of A Man!

via So Sit

Guess?

via Sexvegemite

The Electrified Glass Penis

You have to wonder who makes these custom penis-shaped glass probes and for what purpose?

via Bondage Blog