Saturday, October 30, 2010

[Insert Humorous Title Here]

A Sexy, Scary Treat From J.Troy Seate!


Something truly different for your Halloween.  A Mask for all Seasons is a fanciful noir serial killer/investigative who-done-it with an atmospheric, southern twist set in 1950’s New Orleans. Sex, violence, murder, and mayhem all play vital roles in this turbulent tale about a cop and a mysterious showgirl going through their paces during the season of the witch. With its highly erotic romance and sensual thrust, these strange bedfellows will both amuse and entertain, especially those of you who like your sex steamy and in all positions. Happy lascivious reading.

How to be Gorgeous

Boo!


Bewitched

Have a scary day tomorrow, BOO....

Ahh, The Old “Triangle Jobber” Joke


Those jobbers sure had dirty minds in those days, 1920s...as if we don't ;)

via Silent Porn Star

Friday, October 29, 2010

Size Doesn't Count

\

Does This Make Me Look ... ?

Jack By Angela Caperton




Thanks to one of the hosts of this marvelous blog, my first volume of short stories has just been published by Renaissance e-books as part of their Sizzler Line. It’s called Darkness and Delight and features twelve stories across almost that many genres! Some of the contents are reprinted from anthologies by Circlet and Cleis, but almost half of the stories are published in Darkness and Delight.  M. Christian has written an incredibly kind introduction for the collection and my partner Drake designed the cover. It’s the best Halloween present I’ve ever gotten!

Darkness and Delight is available here.

And, as a small token of appreciation for MC’s kindness, I wrote a flasher for his blog to mark this, my favorite season.

I hope you like it.
  
Jack




By  

Out in the middle of Elder’s pumpkin patch, Gracie knew that coming out here with Jack had been the right move. She’d hardly known him a week and already she’d kissed him open-mouthed and let him touch her tits. She really wanted to fuck Jack before Susie or any of the others got to him first, and here was her opportunity to brand him hers.

The crisp air laced her skin with her jeans barely on and his fingers in her pussy. She held onto his cock, fingers teasing and made him ask to put it in her.

The dirt clods crumbled under her butt as he drove into her, just as rough and strong as she knew he’d be, cock, lips and fingers expert, fast the first time and real slow the second. Out here in the country, she let herself scream when she came.

A full moon lit them where they lay naked among the pumpkins, her hand resting on the warm ripples of his abs.

“You know what I heard one time about this pumpkin field?” he asked her.

“No, what?”

“Well I heard that a few years back some of them boys from over in Blackwater would come out here to have some fun.”

Blackwater was a notorious den of degeneracy and yet they always fielded the best football team in the county. “What kind of fun?”

“Well, some say Elder’s pumpkins are the fullest ones grown anywhere ‘round here, full and firm. Them Blackwater boys thought they’d be wicked and picked a young one.  They warmed it up a little, then they cut a hole in it and took turns fucking it.”

“I heard of boys fucking watermelons,” she agreed.

“These pumpkins are supposed to be even better. But that ain’t the story. What happened a year later, when the field was full again, and them boys came back is the interesting part. Seems like they had messed around with the wrong pumpkin and, I don’t know, offended some kind of pumpkin spirit.”

She giggled. “Just like Charlie Brown?” Not far away, something rustled among the vines and she stopped laughing. That Great Pumpkin would be some pretty scary shit if it was real. She moved closer to Jack and listened.

“When they came back, something was waiting for them, something big and fast and strong and, one-by-one it knocked all three of them boys down and cornholed them, and they never come back after that. They say it’s still out here in this field on fall nights when the pumpkins are ripe and ready for picking.”

Silly, she thought, but there were sounds in the field around them, shuffling and rustling and something that might’ve been footsteps. The moon passed abruptly behind a cloud and darkness fell like a gunny sack over her head.

“You know what else I heard?” Jack asked her.

She could hardly speak, her throat dry as the dirt in the field. His rippled abs felt hard and cold under her fingers, like the waxy, pimply skin of a sun-ripe pumpkin.

She dreaded the moment when the moon would reappear.

“I heard it likes girls even more than it liked them Blackwater boys.”

#

If you enjoy horror erotica, you might enjoy my Lovecraftian serial, “Woman of His Dreams” available on my blog!  You can find Part 1 here.

Happy Halloween!

Priapus, God of Erections

In Greek mythology, Priapos (Ancient Greek: Πρίαπος), Latinized as Priapus, was a minor rustic fertility god, protector of livestock, fruit plants, gardens and male genitalia. His Roman equivalent was Mutunus Tutunus. Priapus was best noted for his large, permanent erection, which gave rise to the medical term priapism.

via Wiki

6 Bizarre Sex Conditions

Having sex in your sleep and being born with two penises are both unusual sexual conditions that might make you chuckle when you hear about them.

Unfortunately, these conditions can be disruptive, alienating, and cause the sufferer both physical and emotional pain.

And, for some of these conditions, there is no easy cure.

Here are 6 unusual and rare sexual conditions that you don't want to have:

1. Female Blue Balls (also known as persistent genital arousal disorder or PGAD): At first, this might sound like fun. Always having that feeling of orgasmic anticipation. The difference when you have PGAD? Even after you orgasm, you still have that pre-orgasm feeling of genital engorgement. All day long. And there is no definitive cure, though biofeedback techniques and some medications may help.

2. If the Energizer Bunny Had a Penis (also known as priapism): The male version of PGAD. The erection lasting longer than four hours that the makers of erectile dysfunction medicines warn you about. Except priapism can happen without taking any of those drugs. And it is extremely painful. One cure is to stick a needle into the penis to draw out the excess blood that's causing the engorgement. If you don't treat priapism? The penis can become permanently scarred, which can lead to impotence.

3. Sweet Fondling Dreams (also known as sexsomnia): Also known as sleep sex and is similar to sleepwalking. Sexsomnia is a sleep disorder that causes people to engage in sexual acts while asleep and not be able to recall what occurred upon awakening.

4. Climax Conundrum (also known as orgasm migraines or coital cephalgia): The act of orgasm gives the sufferer a headache similar to a migraine. The ultimate catch-22. Pain after pleasure. The headache is severe and can last for a few hours. Symptoms can also include a stiff neck and vomiting. The opposite of "Not tonight dear. I have a headache."

5. Double Dicks (also known as diphallia or penile duplication): Occurs when a man has two penises, usually next to each other, that usually function normally and can both be used for urination and ejaculation. Men with this condition are frequently sterile. And only one penis at a time can be active. Diphallia is usually accompanied by other congenital abnormalities like spina bifida.

6. Golden Semen Shower (also known as retrograde ejaculation): The sphincter of the bladder doesn't constrict as it should, which would normally force the semen out the urethra. So the ejaculation of semen goes backwards, up the penis and into the bladder. Not a painful disorder but can render a man infertile because the semen is deposited in the bladder. The test for this? Checking a urine sample for semen.

via Cafe Mom

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Listen to The How To Sell Erotica Panel!



If you're interested in writing erotica for fun or, yes, even money, this is a wonderful opportunity to learn all there is to learn about creating sexually explicit stories, dealing with editors and publishers, how to bring sex and sensuality to life in your work, plus all kinds of tips and tricks, and much, much more!

The panelists at this entertaining and informative event were:
  • Donna George Storey, a writing and book promotion columnist.
  • Blake C. Aarens, who writes award-winning erotic fiction.
  • M. Christian, writer and anthologist who has sold over 300 short stories, five novels and edited over two dozen anthologies.
  • Gina de Vries, whose fiction, journalism, memoir, and smut have appeared in dozens of anthologies.
  • Jean Marie Stine, author, former magazine editor, and publisher of the erotic ebook pioneer Sizzler Editions.

Topics discussed by these respected erotic professionals include:
  • How did you sell the first story you got paid for?
  • What elements make an erotic story sell?
  • What are the easiest markets to break into?
  • How do you dream up sexy story ideas and sexy scenes?
  • What's the right amount of sex in a sexy story?
  • Is it possible to write convincing stories for sexual orientations and interests beyond your own? If not, why not? And if so, how do you do it?
  • What Internet resources for writers of erotica would you recommend?
  • Any thoughts on how to get along well with editors and publishers? Do's? Don't's?
  • Have you ever experienced negative reviews or criticism from fans? If so, how do you deal with it?
  • Have you ever sold the same story more than once? If so, what is the most times you have ever sold one story?


Out Now: THE BACHELOR MACHINE By M.Christian

THE BACHELOR MACHINE
Science Fiction Erotica


A Brand New Edition
Out Now From M.Christian!


M.Christian and Circlet Press are proud to announce the publication of a brand new edition of M.Christian's best-selling and ground-breaking collection of science fiction erotica: The Bachelor Machine!

Now available in ebook for the first time, 18 short stories of crackling erotic futures by the master of erotic voice, M. Christian. Men, women, hackers, derelicts, enforcers, hustlers, and whores in every combination inhabit the streets and beds and back alleys of Christian's imagination. This is erotic science fiction at its best.

Included in this new edition, in addition to Cecilia Tan's rave introduction to M.Christian's work from the original book, is a special foreword by Kit O'Connell, a chat between Cecilia Tan and M.Christian on mixing science fiction and erotica, and much more!

I’m going to tell you a secret. There are only two people in the world I envy. One is the late Roger Zelazny, whose talent for an almost jazz improvisational way of writing I could never match.The other is M. Christian, for writing exactly what I’d write if only I could get off my ass. Which is to say, raunchy hallucinatory sexfuture dreams that never fail to arouse me and kick me in the gut at the same time ...
- Cecilia Tan, from her original introduction

In the years since I first read The Bachelor Machine, I've shared these thought-provoking tales with many friends. The stories have never failed to provoke both reaction and discussion. Long after arousal is gone, there are stories here that haunt me. I'm glad that now you can share that too ...
- Kit O'Connell, from his foreword to the new edition

The stories in his new collection, The Bachelor Machine, pass the litmus tests of both the SF and erotica genres. Take out the tech and there’s no story; take out the sex and there’s no story. This description may lead those unfamiliar with SF erotica to suspect that every story is about getting off with the aid of futuristic technologies, and that’s true as far as it goes. But that’s not going nearly far enough. The stories in The Bachelor Machine are not about sex, though they’re stuffed with sexual acts; the stories are about what sex means. M.Christian is writing about the psychology of being human, and he often does so by exploring sexual possibilities and realities that are rarely discussed, even in private conversation. He not only thinks forbidden thoughts, he extrapolates them in the finest SF fashion ...
- Cynthia Ward, Locus On-line

As a special treat, here's an interview with M.Christian from the Suicide Girl's Web site about The Bachelor Machine!

And The Bachelor Machine has its own Wikipedia page!

Here's what others are saying about M.Christian and The Bachelor Machine:

M.Christian speaks with a totally unique and truly fascinating voice. There are a lot of writers out there who'd better protect their markets!
- Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning science fiction author

M.Christian's stories squat at the intersection of Primal Urges Avenue and Hi-Tech Parkway like a feral-eyed, half-naked Karen Black leering and stabbing her fractal machete into the tarmac. Portraying a world where erotic life has spilled from the bedroom into the street, and been shattered into a million sharp shards, these tales undercut and mutate the old verities concerning memory, desire and loyalty. Truly an author for our post-everything 21st century.
- Paul Di Filippo, author of The Steampunk Trilogy, and reviewer for Issac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine.

Fantasist, futurist, eroticist, satirist, humorist, dentist drilling deep into the nerves of the here and now ... M. Christian wears a lot of hats in this multifaceted collection, and they're all a splendid fit.
- Brian Hodge, author of Mad Dogs and Lies & Ugliness

M. Christian is the chameleon of modern erotica. One day punk, another romantic; one day straight, another totally perverse and polyamorous. But always sexy and gripping.
- Maxim Jakubowksi, editor of the Mammoth Book of Erotica series

M. Christian is a chimera, an amazing combination of tour guide and magician. Whether he's writing science fiction, horror, or erotica, he can take you to places you've never imagined, show you sights no-one else will get to see, introduce you to some fascinating people, and guarantee that the trip will be memorable from start to finish. Buy a ticket and fasten your seat belt: you're in for a wild ride!
- Stephen Dedman, author of The Art of Arrow Cutting, and Shadows Bite

M. Christian always writes like a dream whether he's creating fantastic visions or ghastly nightmares. With this collection, you get both!
- Paula Guran, DarkEcho

Jump into the slipstream of The Bachelor Machine and M.Christian will take you for a joyride - down into the places where nanoseconds seem to last an eternity and the orgasms are as big as Jupiter. Strap yourself on his rocket ship of soaring prose and fantastic plot, where your co-pilots have any gender, all gender and whose mission is to leave you breathless with desire and safely exhausted with satiation. Let The Bachelor Machine speed you on your way ...
- William Dean, Clean Sheets

About M.Christian:

M.Christian is - among many things - an acknowledged master of erotica with more than 300 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and many, many other anthologies, magazines, and Web sites. He is the editor of 25 anthologies including the Best S/M Erotica series, The Burning Pen, Guilty Pleasures, The Mammoth Book of Future Cops and The Mammoth Book of Tales of the Road (with Maxim Jakubowksi) and Confessions, Garden of Perverse, and Amazons (with Sage Vivant) as well as many others. He is the author of the collections Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, Licks & Promises, Filthy, Love Without Gun Control, Rude Mechanicals, and Coming Together Presents M.Christian; and the novels Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Me2, Brushes, and Painted Doll.

The Bachelor Machine
Circlet Press
ASIN: B003Y8XUK2
ebook/Kindle Edition
$7.99

Please contact M.Christian at zobop@aol.com for a review copy

Gotta Love The Good Old Days

Sexism

via Smoke-n-Mirrors

On the Streets of New York

A very cool bicycle cover...but why would you need that? Only in New York...

via Found in Brooklyn

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Highlight From The National Airsex Competition

Kama Sutra updated

The Kama Sutra is believed to have been written in the third century (AD) by the Indian sage Vatsyayana, as a guide for the courtly gentleman of the time.

For years it has been seen as the ultimate sex guide – the first point of reference for young men eager to learn about the art of adventurous lovemaking.

But now, the Kama Sutra is to be updated in a new version, presented as a "lifestyle guide for the modern man and woman".

Gone are the erotic drawings and sexual illustrations that have accompanied various translations of the ancient Hindu text.

Instead, the new edition, to be published by Penguin, will be a text-only pocket-sized handbook, described as a "classy" manual "covering every aspect of love and relationships".

Previous English versions of the Kama Sutra have been widely based on the 19th-century translation by the explorer and orientalist, Sir Richard Francis Burton, often featuring erotic illustrations to enhance Burton's old-fashioned language.

But the new version, written by A. N. D Haksar, an Indian scholar and a leading translator of Sanskrit texts, will include updated chapter headings such as "Making a Pass", "Why Women Get Turned Off", "Girls to Avoid", "Is he Worthwhile?", "Getting rid of him", "Easy Women", "Moves towards sex," and "Some Dos and Don'ts".

via Telegraph

Celebrating Halloween in Your 50’s


via Politically Illustrated

Monday, October 25, 2010

A Classic

Why Men With Big Bellies Make Better Lovers


A recent study proves more is more in bed. Are big-bellied men really better lovers?


Hey ladies: take a break from chasing that six-packed Adonis and instead divert your gaze to the oft-overlooked Homer Simpson doppelganger. You may thank us for it.

A recent study out of Turkey concluded that overweight men with obvious bellies last longer in bed than their thinner counterparts. These heroic researchers (dedicated to finding answers to life's big problems) studied the BMI and sexual performance of 100 men seeking help for sexual dysfunctions contrasted against 100 men who reported no problems.

The result? Men with a higher BMI and, yes, unsightly guts, lasted an average of 7.3 minutes where the slimmer of the group could barely hold on for 2 minutes. Ouch, right? A five-minute difference is pretty significant. As in three times as long kind of significant. In fact, they found skinnier guys more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, too.

via Your Tango

Oh, my Lolita...

via Teaching Literacy

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Honey, That's Not A Good Look For You -


Keith Richards, 1966

Variety, The Spice of Life, by Mykola Dementiuk


Review by Gerry Burnie Books

Publisher’s blurb: Giving up the old for the new means drastic changes…a new apartment, new friends, new lovers, and maybe even, a new sex change? But has he changed that much to accept these changes so readily when he knows that there are even more drastic changes waiting for him?

About the author: Mykola Dementiuk was born in 1949 of Ukrainian parents in a West German DP camp, immigrating to America when he was two. After Catholic grade school & public high school in New York City, he graduated from Columbia University in 1984.

A writer with varied employment, from gyro seller at Lollapalooza to roustabout at the Big Apple Circus, Mykola helped create the magic of Cirque due Soleil performances of “Algeria” with Electrical work.

After suffering a massive stroke in 1997, Mykola eventually returned to writing, using one finger to execute the fantasies and psychological stories of his mind.

Review by Gerry Burnie

From the outset I will admit that I have had no exposure to the transvestite genre, or even the culture for that matter, and so when I was asked to review ”Variety, the Spice of Lifeby Mykola Dementiuk [eXtasy Books, 2010] I wasn’t certain I could give it the proper insight. Fortunately the author has developed the story around a main character who is even more uninitiated than me, and with a naiveté that I don’t believe I ever had.

Said character is made even more transparent by not being assigned a name for the first two-thirds of the story. All of this has a purpose, of course. In other words, he is purposefully presented as a blank canvas upon which life paints what he is to become—a “Missy.”

This process starts when this over-sheltered momma’s boy is cast out into the world following the death of his mother. Although he knows he has strong homosexual tendencies, he has no experience apart from being groped by an older man. However, as fate would have it he spies the ‘man of his dreams,’ and being naïve he falls madly in love; emphasis on the ‘madly.’ Now, the Fates are the fickle agents of the gods, and in this case they can’t resist having a bit of fun with this lovelorn swain. Ergo, ‘Mr. Dreamy’ turns out to be a transvestite hooker, petty thief and all-round exploiter. As is so often the case, however, none of this seems to deter our innocent, and it seems the more he is exploited the more his ardour grows. In fact, he even emulates his puppeteer by becoming a cross-dresser himself.

The story is set in New York, and is a very New-York-type of story—gritty, with a cosmopolitan impersonality about it; impersonal relationships, impersonal sex, and the-devil-take-the-hindmost ethos. All of which is intentional and well presented, as is the overall story.

The quibbles are very few. I had some difficulty relating to the main character, but that may be more of a personal comment than a criticism. I also found the ending a bit simplistic, although that didn’t detract from the overall quality of the story, otherwise.

An interesting read about a genre that is not very often explored. Eagerly recommended. Four-and-one-half stars.


via Gerry's B Book Reviews

Karube Shrine – Where the Japanese Go to Worship Breasts





A shrine dedicated to women’s breasts may sound amusing to us foreigners, but for the Japanese, this is a truly sacred place.

Located in Soja City, in Japan’s Okayama Prefecture, Karube Shrine is dedicated to Chichigamisama, the Goddess of Breasts. She is believed to help with safe child births, the production of breast milk, and even curing breast cancer. Built in 1678, the shrine became famous due to a now dead weeping cherry tree, that grew nearby.

Most women come to Karube Shrine to pray for a safe child birth, abundant lactation and breast cancer healing, but there are those who ask the Goddess of Breasts for a bigger bust. Those boob-like things that decorate the shrine’s interior are Ema, small wooden planks, where worshipers write their prayers and requests, in the hope that the god receive them. They cost about $21, and can be ordered online, if you’re interested.

via Breast Worship

Friday, October 22, 2010

My, What Lovely ... Eyes You Have ...

Handless Model Poses in a Sexy Bra


Handless Model Poses in a Sexy Bra for Disability Awareness

Belgian model Tanja Kiewitz was born with her left arm ending just below the elbow, but she's been genetically blessed in many other ways, so now she's campaigning for disability awareness. An ad for Belgian disabilities nonprofit CAP48, which plays off the Wonderbra "look me in the eyes" ad from the mid-nineties, features the line, "Look me in the eyes ... I said the eyes." In an interview with the Global Post, Kiewitz explained, "They have to see that I'm a woman above all and that I can be beautiful and sexy, and the handicap is secondary." She also thinks that disabled models should be used more widely. "It would be good if handicapped people started to be used to advertise other things," she said. "Why shouldn't somebody with a disability be a model? It would make a change from those models who all look alike."

via NYMag

Chez Francoise

If any of you transvestites are in Paris this Saturday get your mesh stockings, garter belts and fake boobs out and join the great drinking and screwing time. Hmm, what should I wear?

If you miss the pumping realness of trashy Los Angeles tranny bars, you’re in luck. Former Angelenos Rick Owens (yes, him) and Michele Lamy (et oui, elle) will bring the flavor of L.A.’s scariest dive to Paris this Saturday. Pack a switchblade in your garter belt.

via Paris Blog

Thursday, October 21, 2010

HULK SMASH TITS!

Torpedoes Away!


[myvintagevogue]

'Dash & Lily's Book of Dares'

From the blog:

Each week I receive many, many books, and let's just say the majority of them don't pass the "subway test": After two stops, I have to put them down.

However, when something does capture my attention, I'm thrilled to pass it on to fellow book lovers. My latest passion: Dash & Lily's Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

If those names sound familiar, it's because they also wrote Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was later turned into a flick with Michael Cera and Kat Dennings. This title is also a young-adult love story, though it's smartly written and avoids the cliches of many books found in the genre.

A quick plot recap: The book starts with Dash, who has wandered into his favorite New York bookstore (and mine), The Strand. There, he finds a mysterious red Moleskine notebook next to J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey. He follows the instructions within it -- penned by a girl named Lily -- and then leaves the notebook for her to find. The game is on.

I won't tell you much more, but Book of Dares is full of references to literature, New York spots and it swells with the passion of youth. (It's also a holiday story, but a sweet-not-sappy one.) If you liked Infinite Playlist, you'll like this one. And yes, it may be shelved in the young-adult section, but that doesn't matter.

The first four pages or so of the book have been posted on RandomHouse.com. I highly suggest you read them! Next week the authors will also be going on tour.

Dash & Lily's Book of Dares arrives in stores Oct. 26. Read it before it inevitably becomes a movie.

(Knopf, $16.99)

via Pop Candy

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'm You -

Bardot mulls French presidential bid



Actor Brigitte Bardot says she is seriously considering running for president of France after an offer from the Independent Ecology Alliance,

Bardot, 76, said she is interested in challenging French President Nicolas Sarkozy because he has reneged on a promise to outlaw Muslim animal slaughter practices she considers inhumane.

"Because you do the opposite of what you say, I am studying a proposition from the Independent Ecology Alliance to be their presidential candidate in 2012," Bardot said in a letter to Sarkozy published in the French press.

Bardot, an animal rights activist who has campaigned against the seal hunt, wants to make it mandatory to give animals anesthetic before their throats are slit in the prescribed way for halal meat.

"No matter whether it's someone from the political left or right, we just need a voice to stand up and defend animal rights," she says in the letter.

Bardot stopped making films in 1973 to devote her time to animal activism. She is notoriously outspoken and has gotten into trouble for her right wing views on immigration and homosexuality.

"We think she is the best person to represent us for the presidency," Ecology Alliance party chairman Antoine Waechter said. "If she accepts, a final decision will be taken next year.

via CBC


'Tamil Pulp': Sexy, Gory Fiction, Now In English


Forget The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo — Indumathi's Hold On A Minute I'm In The Middle of A Murder is coming to America. Here's a quote from this foreign best-seller:

"Suddenly a trickle of blood began to flow from a crack in the stone tomb. How could fresh blood come out of a tomb built in 1977?"

The story is part of a collection of Tamil pulp fiction that's been translated into English.

Tamil has always been the language of high culture in India. Its literature is 2000 years old, its poetry exquisite.

The Blaft Anthology of Tamil Pulp Fiction Vol. II
Edited by Rakesh Khanna
Translated by Pritham K. Chakravarthy
Paperback, 540 pages
Blaft Publications
List price: $24.95
via NPR