Friday, November 30, 2007

Deviantly Deviantart

Here again are some fantastic examples of erotic illustration from deviantart.

These great images come from PlusNine.

Enjoy!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

My Date with Anne Coulter

The following is just one of a bunch of pieces I’ve been working on for a project tentatively titled Pornotopia: The Ins and Outs and Ins and Outs of Sex and Erotica. Enjoy!
My Date with Anne Coulter

Despite apparent semiotic similarities, the female is, in fact, from a genus not at all related to its common mating partner, which in no way prevents it from various futile reproductive attempts.

This pseudo-positive assortative mating – the preference of one gender to seek out mates with similar or superior characteristics – has been likened to the behavior of a unique subspecies of baylisascaris that frequently attempts to reproduce with more developed species in an attempt to mimic their successful behaviors. Unlike these fecal parasites, the female is far more aggressive in its mating behaviors.

So aggressive, in fact, that few species can survive the attempt. For many years hypotheses regarding these common coitus fatalities were few and far between, more than likely because of the high incidents of injury and death among researchers who put themselves at high risk to study the sexual activities of this unusually destructive female. Fortunately recent experimental developments have paved the way for researchers to safely observe for the first time the actual behavior of the species from initial excitement phase to the inevitable conclusion of its unique sexual response cycle.

Again paralleling positive assortative mating, the female is apparently attracted to males exhibiting dominant behavior such as ritualistic combat, excessive fat storage, and territorial aggression. However, the female is again exceptional in that she normally prefers sexual partners who only manifest dominant behavior traits. In a well-documented experiment conducted in 2002, when faced with a choice between an extremely healthy male specimen of a similar species with only a miniscule colorization differentiation versus a male with obvious physiological deficits who was only apparently suitable for reproduction, the female consistently preferred to attempt to mate with the similarly colored male. It is interesting to note, however, that this behavior is only common if the female is out in the open. When isolated, the female will reverse this behavior and become extremely sexually aggressive toward the colored male.

Once the female has become attracted to a potential mate, it begins the courtship by displaying a series of provocative displays apparently evolved to stun the male to the point where sexual activity is optimal – for the female, because, as noted, the mating activity of the female in no way could be considered beneficial to the male. One of the early displays involves the unfolding of the lower limbs, extending them from the female’s protective sheath of fibers. These fibers, it should be noted, have been acquired from the desiccated remains of other, previous, matings. Extended outward, the limbs thus act mysteriously. Although they clearly lack any form of healthy musculature or show any signs that the female could act in any way as a successful brood mother, most males are lured at least as long as necessary for the female to continue to the next phase of her sexual courtship. Various research suggests that there are other, as yet unknown, factors at work at this stage in the female’s mating behavior. Semiochemicals have been discussed, as has the concept that the female’s coloring and behavior somehow mirrors the male’s, even though the actions of this false female in no way reflect true actions of a sexually mature female of any species, let alone the male's genotype. One radical theory, as yet untested, even hypothesizes that the female relies on a form of "bribe," consisting of preferred nutrients or items that might make its lair more comfortable.

Now close enough to a potential suitor, the female extends a set of hooked upper limbs evolved to lock around the mate’s thorax, effectively trapping it. Although this maneuver is largely successful in trapping the male, it should be noted that some males have been sighted who, at the onset of this initially aggressive female mating behavior, have resorted to severing their own limbs to escape. These limbless males can often be seen at the periphery of the female’s territory, too entranced by the female’s chemical lure to escape but having become too cautious to proceed closer and risk her predation.

For those unfortunate enough not to escape, the female begins the next stage of her pseudo-mating behavior: the opening of the anterior mandibles, whereby a piercing stylet extends down and outward well below even the laryngeal prominence. Evolved with barbs to resist removal, the stylet is capable of easily puncturing the epicuticle and even cracking through the most hardened of procuticle. Depending on the chosen mate, the stylet will enter the head near or even directly through the vulnerable ocelli or directly into the core of the thorax.

Once this penetration has been achieved, the female injects neurotoxins that act as a sexual catalyst for her aggressive mating behavior by markedly increasing the males susceptibility to pain. Similar in toxicity to scorpion venom, the wild thrashing of the impaled male further stimulates the female causing a dramatic increase in the thrusting of the style. So violent is this activity that occasionally the barb has been observed penetrating completely through a potential mate’s head, though this in no way decreases the female’s aggression.

The next phase of this pseudo-sexual mating begins with the flooding of the male’s head or thorax with a mixture of enzymes that immediately begin to break down all present macromolecules. Normally preceding digestion, this activity does not continue with the removal of the broken-down tissues. Instead the region liquefied acts as a nutritious "nest" for the next stage.

In an action so far too fast to be completely viewed or documented, the stylet is removed and the hole previously punched through the body of the male is roughly widened by the introduction of an ovipositor. Reaching precisely to the previously mentioned digested region, the female then proceeds to go through a gesture of egg-laying, including the positing of a large sterile egg into the body cavity of the still-thrashing male.

This activity is important to note as it adds a new complexity to this puzzling behavior. For not only is the female attracted to, and very often attempts to mate with, members of other species, resulting in the death of the chosen mate, but the attempt is fruitless as the female has yet to be observed procreating in any way. Being a clearly unsuccessful evolutionary development, having no observable biological function aside from preying on males of other species, how the female still manages to carry on its genes is a matter of much curiosity.

The mystery of the female's behavior concludes with the last act of its unusual pseudo-sexual mating ritual. While the order mantodea has long been accused of the same behavior, recent studies have indicated that it is not natural in the wild. In the case of this singular specimen, however, the action has been observed – where it is safe to do so – and thoroughly documented far too often. Whether it is a way of further stimulating its own sexual responses or just as a way of procuring additional nutrients, the eating of the male’s head after sex continues to perplex researchers and remains a fertile area for further study.

- M.Christian

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Welcome to Weirdsville: Getting A Handle On Yourself

Cross-posted from Meine Kleine Fabrik:

For some, the answer is immediate - just about as obvious as the nose on ... well, your face. Get naked, reach down, cup hands inwards and - carefully, for some of us - feel, and then fill in the gender blank. But for others it isn’t as easy as that. For various reasons, from nature to nurture, copping your own feel doesn’t bring about something so absolute. For these people, the Jewish proclamation could extend from “Today I am a Man --” to “-- but tomorrow I might be a --”

Some suggest that uncertainty in gender is more common than not, and point to those who are more prominent as being simply the tip of the iceberg. Viewpoints aside, the fact that many to this day are arbitrarily given one gender over the other shortly after birth - doctors instigating selective surgery often without consulting the parents, and certainly not the little maybe-boy, maybe-girl, is a given. Still others, the great Kate Borstein inclusive, suggest a third gender: that those who feel ... literally, that they are not on the outside what they are on the inside becoming a combination of the two.

But this column isn’t necessarily about the current state of gender issues - rather this is a little trip down history lane to visit two of my favorite people who took their issues around gender to glorious - and sometimes surreal - extremes. It’s easy to forget in these (sarcastic) accepting times, that gender wasn’t the movable feast it is today. Back only a few decades ago only women wore earrings, only men wore pants, only women had long hair, only men had short hair. Roles were carved in cultural stone and heaven help anyone who tried to chip their own niche.

But then we had the Chevalier d’Eon Beaumont. Born in Burgundy in 1728, the Chevalier started life out as a bouncing baby ... well, suffice to say that this unusual person bounced quite a bit, even starting out life as being baptized as both Charles as well as Genevieve. In a time when women were women and men were men (both wore wigs), the Chevalier was extraordinary from the get-go.

Even more so because the Chevalier was a spy. In 1755 this surreal agent of the French was sent to St. Petersberg where the Chevalier was thoroughly integrated into the court of the Empress of Russia - as a woman. Remaining there for many years while shuttling secrets to the French government, the Chevalier eventually traveled to England - as a woman, but this time without a choice in the matter as the French found it uncomfortable that their agent could switch back and forth between genders so easily.

While in England, the Chevalier made some great friends - many, in fact of the notorious Amorous Knights of Wycomb (sometimes erroneously called the Hellfile Club). There a wager was drawn up to decide - more for the Brothers of the club than the Chevalier - to decide once and for all: Charles or Genevieve? Examined by a gaggle of high-born ladies, the verdict took some time - way too long in fact (a time frame that begs for a wild, wild smut story) - but eventually these curious women came back with the finding of ... ‘doubtful.’

Not one to let sleeping genders lie, six years later a second examination was held - over a lawsuit of all things (a court case that must have been something else to witness) - and the verdict was female, and so ‘Genevieve’ had to remain in skirts and corsets.

You’d think that the law would have ultimate say in the case of the Chevalier - but it’s a delightful conclusion to this extremely flexible life, that after he’d passed away in 1810 he was buried in St. Pancras ... as a male. The doctor, in fact, who made the examination proclaiming: “ - without a doubt a male person.”

If these learned people couldn't make up their minds, how could the Chevalier be expected to?

My other favorite gender-player is one who while more certain (at least by those who examined him after his passing) in the area of genitalia still managed to affect a brilliant transformation. For most of those who knew the legendary jazz musician Billy Tipton the question of what was between his legs seemed never to be in question - but was nevertheless a complete surprise after he'd passed away at 74.

Cross-dressing is extraordinarily common, in a variety of degrees, and history is rife with those who have played one gender or another - sometimes towards criminal ends (like the 'woman' who defrauded a kind-hearted Mormon man into marrying him) but more often simply out of a deep-seated need to feel closer to their preferred gender. But makes Billy so unique though isn't just the fact that he had female anatomy, but that he'd managed to keep this a secret from so many friends - and wives.

Not even several of these wives (Billy had five) ever thought of him in any way except as a very masculine, adoring husband and even (through adoption) a father. In fact, his children, too, were similarly shocked to discover their father's unusual secret.

Much has been made of the fact that all five of his wives never suspected a thing: were they so accepting, so clueless, or did they know the secret as well and kept it for the sake of Billy's self-image? Yet the fact when the great jazz-man passed away he left not just a few stunned friends, wives, children and admirers - for Billy was born a woman.

What we know of Billy, in hindsight, definitely lends towards thinking "how could you NOT be suspect?" Billy carefully guarded his privacy, never bathed or disrobed (or so we are told) in front of anyone, and even in bed kept himself partially clothed - more than likely making his use of a penile prosthesis. In his very early years, Billy was more open about being a cross-dresser, but as time went on he developed more and more of his male persona - eventually submerging his female self so deep that only he knew about it.

In later years Billy in fact turned away from what could have been a very successful gig to become a lowly booking agent - a decision that many have pondered as being safer than being in the spotlight and being discovered. About this time, Billy's fears of discovery and his seeming need to model himself into what could be called an 'ideal' male image appear to have pushed him into a model of domesticity. His fifth wife and he lived a suburban dream life void of sex - and thus keeping Billy's secret just that. Adopting three boys, they tried to make this idyllic life work - but, alas, their marriage couldn't stand the strain and Billy and boys left to live in near-poverty conditions. Eventually the boys left as well, and Billy - in a sad end to what must have been a frustrating life - died rather than seeing a doctor who could have revealed his secret. It was only after he did pass away - at 74 - that the world, as well as Billy's friends, wives, and children learned of the secret that he'd kept for so many years.

If there's a point to these two extremes, it could be that if you have the ability to touch yourself and say, "I am a (fill in the blank)" then you might be able to call yourself fortunate - or, in the case of these two extraordinary individuals - you might call yourself limited ... 'just' what your holding in your hand, when you could also be something much, much more than that.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sometimes A Great Thing Has To End

From M.Christian.com:

If you've been living under a rock you may not know that I have a serious 'thing' for Sage Vivant, fantastic writer and until recently the driving force behind Custom Erotica Source. I say 'recently' because after a very long and very noble run she's decided to close CES and move onto better things.

While like a lot of her clients and friends I am very sorry to see CES go I am still madly applauding her for deciding to move into bigger and better - and best of all more fun - things in the future!

Here's Sage's Announcement:
If you subscribe to my mailing list, you already know this, but for those of you who don't, I decided this week that it's time for Custom Erotica Source to close its doors. The last date to place orders will be December 10 (I will be delivering stories through the holidays and into January, I suspect). The CES Web site will go dark after that.

This was not an easy decision to make, as you might imagine. I started CES in January 1998, which means that this January, it would have been 10 years old. And honestly, it was a fun run. I met terrific writers and worked with some delightful clients. My original goal was to start a company that would not only allow my work to land directly in the hands of people who wanted it, but also to give people permission to indulge their fantasies in a safe but exciting way.

I can honestly say I accomplished both and I wouldn't trade these 10 years for anything. But like all good things, CES must come to an end. One of my clients (Photoshop by ARB) -- for whom I've been supplying stories since about 1999, I think -- created the image you see here in honor of the occasion. And it's precisely the kind of generous, funny, warm-hearted gesture that I so often experienced from clients throughout the years. I'm getting verklempt just thinking about it!

What will I be doing? I'll still be writing -- no doubt about that. But I'll be moving into new genres and doing different kinds of projects. Change is good, especially when one can control it! I'll be posting more here in the next few weeks, so stay tuned....

Lifeless Doll Displays Seam. Also: Anatomically Correct Britney Spears Figure

Art imitates life. Both are yucky.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Do I really have to say that this is Japanese?

From Weird Asia News:

Japan’s famous Harajuku, is famous for the extreme and weird fashions and cultures it is home to. From Yamambas to Gothic Doll Girls, If you are wandering around this wild section of Japan, you are likely to get an eye full.

kegadoru011.jpg

With the recent trends you may even see an increased number of girls that appear injured. Heads wrapped in bandages and eyes covered in patches, these girls have not been on the losing end of a fight, but rather the youth of Kegadoru, translated “injured idols” and a fetish for scantily clad women to dress up in bandages.

“Many of the men who come to Akihabara often compliment us on how good our bandages look, or how cute they are. For girls hanging out in Akihabara, bandages and eye patches have become a must-have fashion item.”

Attention seeking to the next level it seems a shame that these girls feel like bandages andfake injuries are the only way to a man’s heart.

kegadoru021.jpg

“When you’re covered in bandages, everybody pays attention to you and worries about you. They also provide a chance to start talking to guys, who’ll ask you how you hurt yourself, so the bandages are really, really good,”

Apparently the color of the bandages also plays a role in the fashion with White symbolizing chastity and virginity and Black symbolizing an even darker side to the trend.

kegadoru05.jpg

We believe Red probably symbolizes they are really hurt and need to go to the hospital.

(Mainichi)

Too Literal Interpretation of "Autoerotic"

I, for one, find Pam's House Blend's attitude towards this rather harmless sexual interest rather puritanical. You have to admit it is safe sex ... at any speed:

Blender Paul Barwick finds the most incredible freakshow stories to pass on. This time it's the sorry tale of a Canadian man, Sandy Wong, who REALLY likes BMWs -- and it clearly poses a problem in public venues. (Edmonton Sun):
Court heard Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Then, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000.

Shortly after that, Wong had dropped his sweatpants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while sitting with his legs dangling over the driver's door window. Security eventually detained Wong until police showed up and a cleanup crew had to wash down the BMW. [ARGH!]

According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is "sexually attracted" to the BMW's rooftop because "it's curved like a woman's body, the sex appeal, it felt good."

Some of the other cars that Wong says arouse him are 1967 Camaros and a 1955 Chevy Bel Airs. They turn him on so much that he holds owners of these vehicles responsible for his loins going out of control because they are "tempting him to pleasure himself." He also has what he calls a "sexual captivation" with motorcycles.

Wong was sentenced to 90 days in the clink, charged with three counts of indecent exposure, two counts of mischief, two counts of obstructing a peace officer and theft.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Deviantly Deviantart

Periodically I'll be posting some of the more (ahem) interesting pieces from his great deviantart page. Enjoy!


Today's great images come from the fantastic Mogadore J. Bivouac (~MJBivouac). Thanks!

Well, they did used to be a called Mae West

But this might be taking things a bit too literally.

From Gizmodo:

Inflatable Bikini Life Jacket Harnesses The Life-Saving Power of Boobs

bernstrand_3.jpg

The "Bay Watch" bikini life jacket concept is brilliant on three levels: It can help save lives, it is much more attractive to wear than traditional life jackets and your likelihood of being saved by a male lifeguard in the area probably increases ten-fold when you are wearing it. Plus, it looks as though there is some additional padding in the rear to achieve J-Lo levels of buoyancy. Again, it is only a concept at this point, but it certainly has mounds of potential. [Bernstrand&Co. via Made in England]

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

For a Good Time -

- call a Republican hypocrite

From the great folks at the Blue Mass. Group:
This diary is intended to shed light on the sexual hypocrisy indulged in by the GOP and it's elected officeholders. The GOP claims to be the "Party of Family Values", but so many of it's members are themselves devoid of family values. The GOP panders to fundamentalist Christian morality, but so many of it's members are incapable of living that morality. Look below the fold to see just a few of the GOP's finest who have been caught having sex with or imposing sex on people other than their spouses. These people have made careers out of enforcing heterosexuality and the image of the nuclear family. But by their "Do as I say, not as I do" behavior, we know them to be the hypocrites and deceivers they really are.

  • Aiken, Steve (R), AZ Republican campaign worker, police officer and self-proclaimed minister. CONVICTED of having sex with two underage girls.
  • Allen, Bob (R-Merritt Island), FL State Rep. CONVICTED for soliciting payed sex in a public bathroom. Pleaded for clemency and was sentenced to 6 months probation; paying a $250 fine, court costs and $245 restitution to Titusville Police Department; ordered to undergo testing for HIV and other STDs, complete a class in HIV awareness and to stay away from the park where he was arrested. He will resign his FL state house seat.
  • Barter, Merrill (R-Boothbay Harbor). County Commissioner. PLEADED GUILTY to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.
  • Bena, Parker (R), Republican activist PLEADED GUILTY to possession of child porn. CONVICTED. Sentenced to 30 months in federal prison & fined $18,000.
  • Burton, Dan (R-IN) Rep. Fathered a child out of wedlock yet had the gumption to call Bill Clinton "scumbag".
  • Butler, John (R), Republican activist working for gubernatorial hopeful Jim Ryan (R-IL). Charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl (a relative of his). Received pardons from Gov. George Ryan (R) in previous year for burglary convictions.
  • Chenoweth, Helen (R-ID) ID rep who had sexcapades out of wedlock with many, lied about it, then chastised Bill Clinton for getting a blow job.
  • Craig, Larry (R-ID), US Senator PLEADED GUILTY to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge associated with soliciting sex in a public bathroom.
  • Curtis, Richard (R-LaCenter), WA State Rep. Anti-gay legislator and habitual procurer of male prostitutes. Taxpayers subsidized the trip during which his sexual hypocrisy was exposed.
  • Dasen, Richard, Sr. (R), Benefactor of conservative Christian groups. CONVICTED. CONVICTED of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen (62, married, has several grandchildren), allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.
  • DiFatta, Joey (R-St Bernard Parish), Parish Councilmember and senatorial candidate solicits sex in public bathrooms.
  • Elizondo, Nicholas (R), Director of the "Young Republican Federation". Molested his 6-year old daughter. CONVICTED and sentenced to six years in prison.
  • Florey, Michael (R) Fmr head of the MI Federation of Young Republicans. PLEADED GUILTY and CONVICTED for sexual battery on a 22 yr old drunk female colleague. He "violently forced several sex acts upon her", then he & friends from MiFYR ran a smear campaign against her in retaliation for her speaking up. Gets 5 years in prison and must pay her medical expenses.
  • Foley, Mark (R-FL), US Rep. who dabbled in the drawers of young congressional aides. Also was chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children.
  • Gardner, Jack W. (R) Lancaster County, PA Councilman and former US Marine. CONVICTED of molesting a 13-year old girl.
  • Gardner, Richard (R) NV Assembly candidate PLEADED GUILTY to sexually molesting his two daughters. He didn't think this should disqualify him from running for office on the GOP ticket.
  • Gingrich, Newt (R), Fmr Speaker of the House. Serial adulterer.
  • Giuliani, Rudolph (R), Fmr Mayor of NYC. Serial adulterer.
  • Gonzales, Ralph, FL GOP political consultant dead in murder/suicide love triangle tragedy.
  • Grunseth, Jon (R), Businessman who withdrew his candidacy for MN governor after allegations that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
  • Haggard, Ted (R), Fmr President of National Association of Evangelicals and anti-gay, anti-drug megachurch minister. Used crystal meth while having sexcapades with a prostitute.
  • Harris, Mark (R), West Bend, WI Alderman. Described as a "good military man" and "church goer". CONVICTED for repeatedly raping an 11-year-old girl over a 2-3 yr period. Sentenced to 12 years in prison and 18 yrs probation.
  • Harding, Russell (R), President of NYC Housing Development Corp and ex-Giuliani official. PLEADED GUILTY to possessing child pornography on his computer.
  • Hyde, Henry (R-IL), Rep., adulterer, family-wrecker.
  • Klaudt, Ted (R-Walker), Fmr SD state rep. CONVICTED for raping his two foster daughters. Rapes happened while he was state rep. Told the girls he was determining whether they were healthy enough to sell their eggs to infertile couples. Used coercion to touch their breasts and put his fingers and a vibrator into their vaginas. He faces additional charges of rape, other sex offenses, witness tampering and stalking in Corson County, where he lives. Faces 100 yr sentence.
  • Krull, Jeff (R-Mascotte), Mayor of Moscotte, FL. Arrested on six counts of lewd and lascivious molestation and one count of showing lewd and lascivious material to a minor.
  • McCain, John (R-AZ), US Senator and Serial adulterer.
  • McHenry, Patrick (R-NC10), NC State Rep. purchased house with man in one district, claiming district homestead tax deduction. but voted in another district.
  • Murphy, Glenn, Jr. (R), Chairman of the Clark Co., IN Republican Party. Charged with Class B Felony for performing oral sex on a sleeping man. Faces 20 years in prison. Court documents show that Murphy asked the victim not to file a complaint with police and offered to help with school expenses in exchange for his silence.
  • Privette, Coy (R), NC Cabarras County Commissioner & retired Baptist minister. PLEADED GUILTY to six misdemeanor counts of aiding and abetting prostitution.
  • Roberts, Richard & Lindsay (R), Oral Roberts University president & wife, numerous charges including trysts with underage male(s). Richard Roberts received vote of no confidence by ORU faculty.
  • Schwarz, Larry Jack (R-Wetmore) Fmr CO State Rep. and parole board officer. Fired for possessing child pornography. Now works for hardcore porn company, Platinum X Pictures. PXP also employs his wife & fmr porn star Debbie, and his daughter, porn actress, Jewel De Nyle (Stephany Schwarz), star of "Pink Hotel on Butt Row," "Face Down, Ass Up 2," "Sodomania Slop Shots 10," and most recently "The Black Bastard 12."
  • Smeltzer, Fred, Jr. (R-Wrightsville), Fmr Wrightsville councilman pleadd no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl. CONVICTED. Served 6-months in prison.
  • Sweeney, John (R-NY), Fmr Congressman. PLEADED GUILTY to aggravated DWI. After side-swiping a police car, police pulled him over and were surprised to find a 24-year old woman sitting on his lap in the driver's seat. His Blood alcohol level was 0.18 (legal limit 0.08). He is fmr STOP-DWI coordinator for Rensselaer Co., and lost his seat Nov., 2006 to a Dem. amid allegations of spousal abuse. Took trip to Marianas with Jack Abramoff and forgot to report it, which is a House ethics violation.
  • Thurmond, Strom (R-SC) The famously racist segregationist Senator impregnated a 16-year old African American maid. He never publicly acknowledged his resultant daughter, Essie Mae Washington-Williams.
  • Vanderwall, Robin (R) Republican strategist, Citadel Military College graduate and Regent University law student. CONVICTED on 5 counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.
  • Vitter, Dave (R-LA), US Senator and habitual procurer of prostitutes. Likes to wear diapers.
  • West, Jim (R), Fmr Mayor of Spokane, WA, used work computer and promise of jobs to lure in young men.

  • Monday, November 19, 2007

    Because washing leper feet, turning the other cheek, and loving thy neighbor -

    - is just so first century.

    From Dispatches From The Culture Wars:

    The American Family Association's latest freakout: some hotels are not allowing Bibles to be placed in every room. And rather than doing what any sane person with a strong preference would do and just not stay at those hotels whose accommodations they don't like, they want to make sure that no one else gets to have their own favorable accommodations either. The Worldnutdaily reports:

    "Now is the time to let the motel chains know that you want them to keep the Gideon Bibles," said its e-mail alert. "For Accor, providing travelers with sexual paraphernalia is more important than the Bible. Accor hotels owns several chains including: Motel 6, Sofitel, Pullman, Novotel, Mercure, Suitehotel, Ibis, All Seasons, Etap, Formule 1. While these chains are mostly located in Europe, Accor is expanding to many U.S. markets."

    AFA said that "without action now, it is simply a matter of time before other chains remove the Bibles."

    This whole thing is just stupid. Why is it not enough for these people that they can read the Bible in their hotel rooms if they choose and others can choose not to? Imagine the freakout if a hotel decided to put other books in hotel rooms besides the Bible. Why not put great literature in them? Why not put the Grapes of Wrath in one room and the collected works of Shakespeare in another? No, only their favorite book will do. And of course, they've got their panties in a wad about hotels providing useful things as well:

    "Edgier chains like the W provide 'intimacy kits' with condoms in the minibar, while New York's Mercer Hotel supplies a free condom in each bathroom. Neither has Bibles. Since its recent renovation, the Sofitel L.A. offers a tantalizing lovers' dice game: roll one die for the action to be performed (for example, "kiss," "lick") and the other for the associated body part," Newsweek said.

    Imagine that, providing condoms in the mini-bar. Guess what? Using condoms is a good thing. Some of the people using condoms and using that lovers' dice game will no doubt be married to each other. And if they're not? It's none of your goddamn business. You just sit and read your Bible and let others do what they want to do.

    Delight for Exhibitionists

    But I doubt that's what was intended:

    From The Raw Feed:
    Talking Cameras to Stop Gay Sex On Beach

    When officials of Florida's Martin County found out gay sex was happening on public beaches, they decided to take action -- and record it on video. Officials may install TALKING CAMERAS to stop men from having sex with each other on public beaches (must be part of Microsoft's homosexual agenda). When the "FlashCAM" devices (made by California's Q-Star Technology) sense "motion" they flash a bright light, followed by a pre-recorded "oral" warning that lets people know they're being watched. One minute later, the cameras start recording.

    Friday, November 16, 2007

    What a Misleading Title

    "Man Rotates 80 Balls Simultaneously With One Hand"

    From Spluch:
    Liu Zhi He holding 80 iron ballsLiu Zhi He is able to hold 80 iron balls, each weighing about 250 grams, on a single hand while rotating all of them simultaneously. Mr Liu started practicing this skill when he was small and aim to enter the Guinness Book of World Records for his ‘home grown skill’.

    As Fortold in the Book of Revelations:

    And, Lo, Shall The Boobjob Bear be sighted, for These Are The End Times (via Coolest Gadgets)


    One of last years Christmas hits was the Swear Bear, the cute but vulgar teddy. This year he has competition from boob job bear.

    Like the swear bear, boob job bear’s language is a tad on the adult side, she comes out with such classic and classy lines as:

    Do you like my new knockers!

    Stop staring at my t**s

    If you’re one of our readers that likes to complain about anything even slightly offensive, please don’t watch the video.



    Can’t see the video? Click here.

    You can buy the original Swear Bear from Amazon and BoobJob Bear is available on the Swear Bear site.

    Thursday, November 15, 2007

    Deviantly Deviantart

    Periodically I'll be posting some of the more (ahem) interesting pieces from his great deviantart page. Enjoy!


    Today's wonderful art comes from ~ReggWatson. Coolness!

    Wednesday, November 14, 2007

    WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!

    Which is not good news:

    From AP:
    U.S. Sets Record in Sexual Disease Cases

    (11-13) 17:27 PST ATLANTA (AP) --

    More than 1 million cases of chlamydia were reported in the United States last year — the most ever reported for a sexually transmitted disease, federal health officials said Tuesday.

    Officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said they think better and more intensive screening accounts for much of the increase, but added that chlamydia was not the only sexually transmitted disease on the rise.

    Gonorrhea rates are jumping again after hitting a record low, and an increasing number of cases are caused by a "superbug" version resistant to common antibiotics.

    Syphilis is rising, too. The rate of congenital syphilis — which can deform or kill babies — rose for the first time in 15 years.

    "Hopefully we will not see this turn into a trend," said Dr. Khalil Ghanem, an infectious diseases specialist at Johns Hopkins University's School of medicine.

    The CDC releases a report each year on chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, three diseases caused by sexually transmitted bacteria.

    Chlamydia is the most common. Nearly 1,031,000 cases were reported last year, up from 976,000 the year before.

    The count broke the single-year record for reported cases of a sexually transmitted disease, which was 1,013,436 cases of gonorrhea, set in 1978.

    Putting those numbers into rates, there were about 348 cases of chlamydia per 100,000 people in 2006, up 5.6 percent from the 329 per 100,000 rate in 2005.

    Since 1993, the CDC has recommended annual screening in sexually active women ages 15 to 25. Meanwhile, urine and swab tests for the bacteria are getting better and are used more often, for men as well as women, said Dr. John M. Douglas Jr., director of the CDC's Division of Sexually Transmitted Disease Prevention.

    About three-quarters of women infected with chlamydia have no symptoms. Left untreated, the infection can spread and ultimately can lead to infertility. It's easily treated if caught early.

    Health officials believe as many as 2.8 million new cases may actually be occurring each year, he added.

    Chlamydia infection rates are more than seven times higher in black women then whites, and more than twice as high in black women than Hispanics. But it's a risk women of all races should consider, CDC officials said.

    "If (health care) providers think young women in their practice don't have chlamydia, they should think again," said Dr. Stuart Berman, a CDC epidemiologist.

    The gonorrhea story is somewhat different.

    In 2004, the nation's gonorrhea rate fell to 112.4 cases per 100,000 people in 2004, the lowest level since the government started tracking cases in 1941.

    But since then, health officials have seen two consecutive years of increases. The 2006 rate — about 121 per 100,000 — represents a 5.5 percent increase from 2005.

    Health officials don't know exactly how many superbug cases there were among the more than 358,000 gonorrhea cases reported in 2006. But a surveillance project of 28 cities found that 14 percent were resistant to ciprofloxacin and other medicines in the fluoroquinolones class of antibiotics.

    Similar samples found that 9 percent were resistant to those antibiotics in 2005, and 7 percent were resistant in 2004. The appearance of the superbug has been previously reported, and the CDC is April advised doctors to stop using those drugs against gonorrhea.

    Douglas said it doesn't look like the superbugs are the reason for gonorrhea's escalating numbers overall, but they're not sure what is driving the increase.

    Other doctors are worried. The superbug gonorrhea has been on the rise not only in California and Hawaii, where the problem has been most noticeable, but also in the South and parts of the Midwest.

    "Suddenly we're starting to see the spread," Ghanem said.

    Syphilis, a potentially deadly disease that first shows up as genital sores, has become relatively rare in the United States. About 9,800 cases of the most contagious forms or syphilis were reported in 2006, up from about 8,700 in 2005.

    The rate rose from 2.9 cases per 100,000 people to 3.3, a 14 percent increase.

    For congenital syphilis, in which babies get syphilis from their mothers, the rate rose only slightly from the previous year to 8.5 cases per 100,000 live births.

    ___

    On the Net:

    The CDC report: www.cdc.gov/std/stats


    You'd Damned Well Better Call It In The Morning ...

    ... or else

    Artworks Inflatables via Ectoplasmosis

    "Rather frightening inflatable vagina, made for theater production, the monster was blown up on the stage and burst out of a cupboard, to devour the main character."

    Tuesday, November 13, 2007

    email written to Representative who wishes to ban adult toys

    From Okfuture:

    Rob Renfro, an old friend of mine who enjoys subjecting the Myspace crowd to his nsfw rants, has recently reposted a great email that was sent to Republican Representative Ralph Davenport of Boiling Springs, South Carolina. Davenport was trying to pass a bill banning the sales of adult toys in his state. I wonder how many similar emails this guy got.

    Dear Ralph:

    I refer to you by your first name as a reminder that you are a public servant. You’re not part of any higher moral circle that should have the ability to decide what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms. You work for me.

    The idea to ban sex toys in South Carolina is completely ridiculous. To ban them anywhere consenting adults choose to purchase them is ludicrous. You are a bedroom Nazi. Perhaps you should worry less about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms for pleasure and more about issues like the median income here in the state of South Carolina. Who cares about jobs and the economy and long as there are no vibrators in the state? Is that your view?

    Furthermore I’ve noticed that you oppose all types of gun control. I demand, not expect but demand as your boss one of the citizens of South Carolina that you give me a logical explanation as to why you support the sale of devices that can be used to commit murder and oppose the sale of devices that give orgasms? Have you ever seen anyone rob a bank with a dildo? Neither have I.

    Personally I think you’re too damned stupid to work 3rd shift drive thru window at a fast food joint, and I intend to make it my mission in life not only to expose what would be a pointless law, but to expose the man behind it, who is a walking affront to anyone with an IQ over 40 and able to tie their own shoes.

    Sincerely,
    Robert Renfro

    LINK to the post on Rob’s blog. LINK to related story posted last year.

    LINK to a recent case in the state of Alabama:

    The Alabama Code prohibiting the commercial distribution of devices “primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs” was upheld by the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals … (coincidentally, on Valentines Day of this year).

    Adult toy retailer Sherri Williams has been fighting the law for 10 years and has filed a petition with the Supreme Court. Last month, the Supreme Court informed the state of Alabama that it must file an answering brief with the High Court, which is an indication that the case might be taken up in the next session.

    Sunday, November 11, 2007

    Deviantly Deviantart

    Periodically I'll be posting some of the more (ahem) interesting pieces from the great deviantart site. Enjoy!


    Today's wonderful art comes from *kazecat. Lots of fun!

    Friday, November 9, 2007

    New Definition of "Sex Bomb"

    From the great Mind Hacks site:
    An intriguing letter in this week's New Scientist digs out some hints on the Pentagon's proposed 'gay bomb' - an ideas to create a chemical weapon that would temporarily turn enemy troops into horny homosexual love machines.

    Feedback asked what happened to the US air force's Ig Nobel-winning "gay bomb" proposal after it was put forward in 1994 (13 October).

    The Pentagon has played down the story ever since New Scientist covered it on 15 January 2005. One spokesman is quoted saying it was "rejected out of hand" and another claimed in 2005 that it was never considered "for further development".

    These claims sit awkwardly with the known facts.

    In 2000 - six years after the idea was proposed - the document describing the "gay bomb" was included in a CD-ROM produced by the Pentagon's Joint Non-Lethal Weapons Directorate, which was distributed to military and government agencies to encourage new projects.

    In 2001, the proposal was one of a number which the JNLWD put forward for assessment by a scientific panel at the National Academy of Sciences.

    No information has been released suggesting that the proposal was taken any further. However, aphrodisiacs would fall under the US military's broad new definition of a "calmative agent", the term it has chosen for "an antipersonnel chemical that leaves the victim awake and mobile but without the will or ability to meet military objectives or carry out criminal activity".

    It seems there is considerable classified research in this area.

    UPDATE: An update from The Neurophilosopher: "I've just noticed your post about the gay bomb, and thought you might be interested in reading the original research proposal, which I found a few weeks ago when the Ig Nobels were announced". It's available online as a pdf. [Thanks!]

    Thursday, November 8, 2007

    Okay, I Give Up -

    - the Japanese will always be able to beat the rest of the world in fun, or just plain weird, sex stuff. The following comes from Danny Cho again:
    Cup Nude
    (NSFW x3) I think most of us have at one point in our lives tried instant noodles before. Some of us only eat it in an emergency while others love it. This "Cup Nude" however is probably not the type of instant noodle that you'd want to eat...

    You've guessed it folks - a Tenga variation disguised as Nissin's Cup Noodle. The idea behind this is that you can keep these among your Cup Noodles at home and nobody would know that its actually a bukkake container. Just be careful not to mix these up with a real Cup Noodle could end up with nasty burns on your middle leg.

    So how does it all work? Full instructions are available at the online shop where you can buy it (380 yen) and the simple translation is below.
    1.Whip out your Dengeki Hime or idol pictures (depending on whether you are a 2D or 3D kinda person) and pop open the lid to Cup Nude.
    Cup Nude
    2.A small hole greets you "herro!"
    Cup Nude
    3.Pull out the sachet of gel from the hole...
    Cup Nude
    4.Open the sachet and squeeze the gel into the hole.
    Cup Nude
    5.Do your business. If you are at work or school when you get the urge, tell your colleagues that you have a stomach ache before going to the toilet or they will wonder why you have been gone for so long.
    Cup Nude
    6.When you have completed you mission, pull out the inside of the Cup Nude and stick it in your bosses coat pocket.
    Cup Nude
    7.If anybody ever catches you with a Cup Nude, tell them that its a new flavor and that the pink thing is actually a large mushroom. You may have to think of another excuse as to why your trousers are half way down though.
    Cup Nude
    I have no idea whats inside the ladies version of Cup Nude...
    Cup Nude

    Wednesday, November 7, 2007

    The happiest place on earth: South Korean sex park

    By s.a., reposted from Meine Kleine Fabrik:




    Although drinking out of the water fountains is ill-advised.

    Visitors please note the all Lesbian "great balls of fire" motorcycle thrill show has been canceled due to confusion.

    Tuesday, November 6, 2007

    I Recommend Masturbation - and Lots of It


    From the Colorado Springs Gazette:
    “Cable is porn. Some cartoons are porn,” he says. “The library is a legal porn shop with sexually explicit material.”

    You might have seen McKee in action. He’s a shadowy guy who won’t say much about himself but appears at Pride-Fest every year with a sign.

    He’s also picketed The Independent because of explicit content and tried to get the alternative weekly removed from grocery stores. He’s ashed his face and donned a sackcloth to protest bookstores with gay and lesbian sections. He gripes that The Gazette has a liberal bias. He finds fault with Focus on the Family for “holding back on God’s true message.”

    He’s collaborating on a new Web site promoting the boycott of gay and lesbian business owners and corporate supporters of same-sex rights.

    He’s also going after churches, listing names of members behaving “ungodly,” he says.

    Like unmarried people living together. “I’ll mark the people doing it. I’ll put it up on a Web site with the name of the pastor and the church.”

    He isn’t daunted by those who say, “Mike, get a life.”

    “What better life?” he says. “It’s not a job; it’s a mission.”

    He says God led him to Colorado in the 1980s and that he supports himself tutoring home-schooled kids.

    He isn’t shy about making lambasting calls to the media or waving a picket sign, but he’s mum about personal details like his age, marital status, where he lives, whom he loves.

    “For safety reasons,” he says. “I’ve had death threats.”

    He gets booed, and then some, at PrideFest.

    “Some same-sex couples make out in front of me,” he says. “Some women come up and lift their shirts and show themselves.”

    His look mimics counterculture chic. Black jeans, black sleeveless shirt. Tan muscular forearms. Orange sunglasses. Stubbled face, topped with salt-and-pepper shaggy hair.

    He holds a silver Starbucks mug in one hand and with the other flips worn pages of a Bible. Passages are circled; words underlined in red, blue and black ink.

    “I would say homosexuality and child molesting are equal in God’s sight,” he says. “Both are abominations. They corrupt children, the same way as smokers with secondhand smoke. A homosexual lifestyle corrupts a child’s spirit with secondhand sin.”

    He complains to TV stations about cartoons.

    “To protect the children,” he says. “‘Family Guy’ is the worst offender. It is raunchy pornography with innuendos directed at children.”

    He picks on “SpongeBob” for promoting “hyperactivity.”

    “The Simpsons” raises his hackles: “It is justifying teaching children how to be disobedient to their parents.”

    He boycotts the fast-food joint dispensing Simpsons toys in kids meals.

    Doesn’t he have other things to do?

    “No,” he says.

    Protecting Our Children -

    - from Pat Boone:
    "The wicked freely strut about
    When what is vile is honored among men."

    – Psalm 12:8

    "Religion and morality are the twin pillars of freedom."

    – George Washington

    "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Our constitution was made only for a moral and a religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

    President John Adams

    I've been an entertainer for over 50 years now. How an "old-fashioned" guy like me has survived and flourished in an industry that increasingly is determined to throw off any and all restraints of morality or decency, only God knows. I've watched in dismay as our courts and legislatures, seemingly eager to disregard the very purposes of our freedoms, vie with each other to stretch them so out of shape that they are used to condone and promote almost every vile thing man can imagine ...

    [I won't post any more: fresh out of barf bags]

    And Pat Boone:

    And let's not forget Pat Boone's leather years:

    Let's Quarantine Star Parker

    For inhuman stupidity.

    (compliments of Max Blumenthal, who deserves a medal for entering the belly of the beast)

    Monday, November 5, 2007

    Why I Wanna Be A Scientist

    Because you get to do research write fun posts like this from 60 Second Science:

    Geoffrey Miller of the University of New Mexico wins today's Unsung Genius Award (UGA) for getting out of the lab, hitting the streets and taking his research to truly hallowed ground: the strip club. Humans were thought not to go into estrus like other mammals, but by measuring strippers' tips, Miller and his team of intrepid lap-dancees found that tips rose and fell to match the corresponding dancer's ovulatory cycle. Hot and informative!

    Surveying strip-club lap dancers, who pe­r­form erot­ic dances for for cash, they found that tips vary by an aver­age of 45 pe­r­cent de­pend­ing on the time of the month, cor­re­spond­ing to the length of the ovu­la­tory cy­cle. That’s the one-month cy­cle in which a ripe egg is re­leased from the ovary, be­com­ing avail­a­ble for fer­til­iz­a­tion.

    Dur­ing peak times of the cy­cle lap dancers made $335 per five-hour shift on av­er­age, com­pared to $260 dur­ing typ­i­cal pe­ri­ods, the re­search­ers found. Dur­ing men­strua­t­ion, the wom­en made only $185 on av­er­age. The peak earn­ings dur­ing a cru­cial phase of the cy­cle could only lead to one con­clu­sion: fe­males were in heat, the in­ves­ti­ga­tors said.

    The researchers collected their data through a website where 18 dancers recorded men­strual pe­ri­ods, work shifts, and tip earn­ings for 60 days, or "a to­tal of 5,300 'lap dances.'" They then published their work in the Oct. 27 issue of the journal Ev­o­lu­tion and Hu­man Be­hav­ior.

    “These re­sults con­sti­tute the first di­rect eco­nom­ic ev­i­dence for the ex­ist­ence and im­por­tance of es­trus in con­tem­po­rary hu­man fe­males, in a real-world work set­ting,” wrote the re­search­ers, Geof­frey Mill­er of the Un­ivers­ity of New Mex­i­co and col­leagues. By com­par­i­son, they found, dancers us­ing con­tra­cep­tive pills, which sup­press ovula­t­ion, showed no earn­ings peak.

    This is an important breakthrough, no doubt, but it's only a first step. I would argue that more tests need to be done in the field, namely by me. No, no — don't say a word. I know it's a big sacrifice, but I've got the talent, the experience and the fanny pack full of $1 bills to get the field work done, over and over again. And again.

    I'll be awaiting your call, Dr. Miller.

    Deviantly Deviantart

    Periodically I'll be posting some of the more (ahem) interesting pieces from the great deviantart site. Enjoy!


    Today's wonderful art comes from Chew Hui Wen (~mashi). Fantastic!